All the single ladies, all the single ladies… I have been a single lady since 2015. On the heels of my my breakup, of being in a relationship for 10 years, I found myself completely lost. I wanted to replace or fill that void as quickly as I possibly could. I’ve watched people rush into relationships before they were ready or stuck in relationships they weren’t happy in. I didn’t want to make those same mistakes, so I decided to just work on myself instead. Looking back, I’m glad I took the much needed time to heal and find myself.
The more time that has passed, the more I love being single. This is no bs, or sugar coating, or just saying it to make myself feel better and to convince you not to. People look sad and pathetically, at you and say oh, you’ll find someone. You won’t feel that way forever, you’ll change your mind for the right one, when the right person/ guy comes around. This is actually insulting to me. I get met with a lot shock, like it’s a bad thing. I’ve been told, you haven’t met the right one, you won’t always feel this way. Wanna bet? I mean, sure there is a chance that I could meet someone amazing and change my mind but you’re going to have to be John Cena because my standards are sky high. However, John Cena, if you’re reading this, hi, you can totally slide into my DMs. Is there is something wrong with me for being completely content with not being in a relationship or a marriage? I don’t think so, and I don’t believe that being in one defines who I am.
One reason why I’m happy I’m single, is that I don’t like to compromise and I no longer have to. I don’t have to indulge my masking or deep conditioning hair rituals. I don’t have to hide shopping bags in my trunk anymore. I don’t have to “run it by” my partner before I make decisions. I no longer have to sacrifice my freedom or independence. No one is holding me back anymore. I buy myself the best presents on holidays (I know exactly the things I love!), I spoil myself rotten….as you should. I go out to eat and watch what I want and I’ve gotten selfish with my time.
Being single, it irks me to hear women say that their partner is their better half or other half. Or so and so makes me a better person or brings out the best in me. I don’t deserve this person. No honey, you’re a whole person 100% and it’s been within yourself the entire time. If you do better it’s because you chose to do better. Please give yourself the credit, and not to some boy. Sunsets and sunrises are still beautiful. Being in a relationship doesn’t make the places you see or do diminish the beauty. Humans are so geared to think that we need a partner to merely exist or be truly happy in life. Is something only worthwhile or beautiful if you have someone to share it with? Being alone certainly does not mean that I am lonely.
My best reason for being single, is that I’m not an extension of someone. I’m not my best me because of my better half. I am my own person and I love myself first. A friend once told me that she “loves me some me.” I didn’t get it then, it took a while to get to that place. Now, I get it and I love me some me. Create your own fairy tale, there doesn’t have to be a Prince Charming. Love yourself first, it’s ok. It’s an incredible journey.
Thanks so much for reading and letting me share my journey with you!
- What I Wore:
- Polka Dot Dress by Zappos
- White Floral Dress by Down East Basics
- Pink Polka Dot Dress by JC Penny
In a world full of pants, be a dress ~Jules